Author: fuelingbrains_AdMEEn

Families that have a strong bond are known to share some common traits. They are the ones who will stick together no matter what. It is important for all families to imitate these traits so they can depend on each other for support in difficult times and togetherness in happy times.

1. Fight hard, love hard

Parents usually complain about their children fighting and arguing all the time at home. It is these same siblings who remain fiercely loyal to each other when the chips are down. These are the siblings who may fight at home, but will protect each other in school, amongst friends and in any other circumstance. The bickering at home, especially amongst pre-school aged children  is only normal behavior.

2. No No’s

The one big rule all families should have from the time children are young is a rule of ‘no put downs’ and ‘no hitting’. Even if your child is of preschool age, he or she will understand when you explain these rules to them. This code of conduct will teach your children not be mean to one another. They can argue a point all they want, but that’s where a conflict should end.

3. Talk openly

I have always seen this one work. Families that can talk about anything under the sun are successful families. If your children cannot talk to you about something, you need to re-look at things. There is nothing so bad that children cannot discuss with their parents. The most important reason why it is important to have an open door policy with your children is simple – you don’t want them seeking advice about taboo topics from others as their values may not be the same as yours.

4. Compromise

Teach your children from early on in life the art of compromise during disagreements. If for example, your children are fighting over a toy, teach them to take turns. When this practice continues, they will soon learn how to take turns without you coming in to save them.

Happy Parenting!

We think mental health is not a topic for children, but think again at how much your child does today compared to how much you did as a child. Childhood is supposed to be a time when they are relaxed and free from the pressures of daily life ; but we see the opposite today. Children today go through plenty of stress and that is why it is crucial for us parents to ensure they are mentally healthy. Children who are mentally healthy handle stress well and don’t let their emotions overwhelm them. Starting these habits at preschool level helps as your child is old enough to put these traits into his personality.

Model

Ask yourself this: As parents, do you model good mental health habits? DO you manage your stress well? Do you get regular exercise, enough sleep and relaxation? This not only improves your mental health, it also sends a message out to your young children. Children learn what they live, so if you set these habits very early on in life, they will keep it for life.

Sleep

It cannot be stressed enough how important sleep is. If you are looking for that one building block of good mental health and wellbeing, it is sufficient sleep. Preschool children, teens and adults who are sleep deprived face many health problems – both mental and physical. Children need between 10 and 12 hours of sleep to grow well and to develop well. Teens need at least nine hours of sleep. If you want to see your children cope well in stressful situations, ensure they get enough sleep.

Exercise

When we were young, my grandma used to tell us to turn off the television and go out and play. She did not know that she was not only getting the intended physical activity going, but also promoting our mental health. Today, kids do not get enough exercise and this is not good for their mental health. Exercise is able to stimulate the chemicals in our body that improve mood and release the stress built up over the day. How much exercise does your child get?

Discuss your children’s activities with them and come up with a schedule you are both happy with.

Parents can’t rely on one single philosophy to raise their children. It is always good to raise your preschool children with many philosophies and principles simply because what works for one parent does not work for another. What works today, may not work next year either.

Effective parents follow these three I’s very closely, whether consciously or unconsciously and this leads to children raised well:

1. Intuition

A mother’s strongest point is her gut feeling or intuition. In this age of information, intuition sometimes gets fogged up. With all the information we are bombarded with on the Internet, we often get confused and forget to follow our instincts. You should always seek expert opinion and check what other parents are doing, but always follow your gut when making decisions about your children. Always remember that your instincts are there for a reason – trust your instincts and use them.

2. Individuality

You will always notice that your first born is very different from your last born. They are different so they can stand out. You may have a first born who readily helps you around the house and a last born who runs away from responsibilities. Respect and accept these individual characters and try out different parenting techniques on both of them. You may end up using more than two parenting  techniques on your preschool child and your teen.

3. Intelligence

You don’t need several degrees to raise kids today. However, you do need intelligence. You need to be smart to outfox your kids when needed. You need the ability to think through problems that your children face on a daily basis. You need the ability to gain information, digest it and churn out the best solution for your kids. Smart parents are a step ahead of their kids.

So how do you rate?

When you have more than one child, you are constantly, as a parent, drawn into their battles. You will see your preschool child telling you tales about his older sister, and these tales are not always complimentary. As soon as you hear this tale, you will come in to solve the problem. This is something that you should not be doing, though. It is good to hear them out and acknowledge their feelings, but getting more involved than that is not a good idea.

A big family strategy is to place the onus back on kids to resolve their own disputes. Here are some ways to respond when your child comes to you with a tale about what his sibling did or said to him:

* Invite them to solve the issue themselves. Ask them if it is something they can deal with and handle well? It’s not that parents don’t want to help kids resolve issues, it’s just that some things really don’t need your help and if you let your children practice resolving themselves at an early age, you will notice that they will end up fighting less and interacting more.

* Put them together in the same boat. Tell them that you will only listen to them when they both tell you the same story. This is the most effective way to resolve a dispute amongst preschool aged children. If they are able to tell you the same story, then they are both telling the truth and the situation is resolved.

* Ask your child to write down what happened. As they write down exactly what happened, they are clearing their minds at the same time. At the end when they hand the paper to you, tell them you will respond too. Most of the time, they would have solved the problem mid-way through writing.

Happy Parenting!

Kids of today are busy kids. It does not matter how old they are, their days are always filled with activities, classes and everything else. Preschool age children end up doing a lot of learning activities that are designed to give them a better head start to their learning lives. As they reach school age, they begin to do many leisure and after-school activities. Children today go for at least four to five extra-curricular activities every week.

As competition is on the increase today, there is nothing wrong with kids being busy as long as they have enough opportunities to relax and unwind. Children who do not get this end up feeling overwhelmed and experience childhood anxiety at a very young age. Relaxation should be a part of your lifestyle both at the age of 4 and 40.

As much as we hate hearing the phrase ‘I am bored’, it is sometimes good for kids to get bored. Being bored is actually good for mental health, giving kids some time to do nothing but muck around and take it easy for a while.

Here are some ways to help you preschool child unwind:

1. Do you remember sitting around a campfire and staring at the flames? DO you remember how calming that felt? No need to talk to anyone, no need to walk around, just a little time spent staring at a fire. In today’s world, TV is the fire. Just ensure they don’t stare at it for too long.

2. Allow your children to play without rules. Free play is the ultimate relaxation technique. Fun games with minimal rules help them unwind just nice.

3. Have a relaxing bedtime routine. This routine should calm your child down, not excite him. Read him a book, give him a leg rub or back rub and help him calm down.

4. The most enjoyable way to get your child to unwind is to unwind with them! Remember how when you were a child, how you and your parent ran around the block or played cricket in the backyard? Find common interests with your child and unwind together.

We all want to see our kids being busy but happy and not inactive and apathetic. All you need to ensure is that there is a good balance between activity and relaxation so that everyone has their sanity in check!

Happy Parenting!

We all know how much we love our children and they know that too. In our hectic life, we sometimes forget to take time out to show affection to our children. Here are some great ways to dish out unexpected hugs, kisses and cuddles to show your child how much you love her.

Human development professionals say that hugs, kisses and cuddles can cure everything – they can boost kids’ mood, improve their health and boost their confidence too.

Give your preschool child a massage at bedtime and it will help her sleep better at night and also help with some weight gain.

At random times of the day, tell your child that you love her. Catch her during dinner, during homework time, while riding in the car or after she makes you laugh – just a simple I love you can create a feeling of warmth.

When you discipline your child, don’t turn into a Medusa. Be gentle but firm and show some affection when you discipline her. Touch your kids affectionately even when they are being naughty. If siblings fight and you want to break up the fight, instead of scolding one harshly, rub his back and gently tell him or her not to fight.

If your child is not a cuddler, get creative and connect in smaller ways. Boys especially get a bit uncomfortable with a lot of cuddling and hugging. Ruffle his hair instead or rough him up a little (this is his meaning of I love you), dance or exchange winks.

Be there for your child when she fails. Children should make mistakes and learn from them too. You as a parent should be there to listen, give assurance and lots of hugs and cuddles.

It is easy to give out affection and love and hugs in good times. Remember to do the same in bad times too because that is when they are all needed the most. After an argument, nothing feels as good as a long tight hug.

Happy Parenting!

Language development is an important part of a toddler’s development. As your child reaches preschool age, you want him to explore the love of reading. You need to remember that being a toddler is all about action. Asking a toddler to sit still is sometimes impossible. Despite this, you must always encourage continuous language development and an interest in books by keeping reading times lively and interesting. Try a new tip each week from the list below and see what works best for you and your child.

Sitting Still

You may not be able to expect your child to sit still when you read out to them unless it is bedtime. Toddlers love moving around so it is alright if they act out the stories by jumping, skipping or tumbling as you read to them. They may be moving around, but they are listening. As time goes on, teach them to sit still and listen to you and use their hands and expressions to act things out.

Recite, sing and make mistakes

To see if your preschool child is listening and following, pause to let him finish your sentence when you are singing a rhyme or telling a repetitive story. Once he is familiar with the line, make a mistake on purpose and see how he catches you at it!

Type of Books

Choose books that feature animals or machines or books that invite touching, movement or make sounds. Books with flaps or textures keep hands and minds busy. Books with hidden items waiting to be found are great for discussing and exploring.

Time

As much as you may be tempted to otherwise, keep reading time short. Toddlers do not have long attention spans. Read a little bit several times a day.

Genre

The genre of the books you are reading to your toddler is very important. You do not want to read to him about something he cannot relate to. Pick books that are about everyday experiences and feelings. Your toddler will be able to identify with kids who do what they do and feel, like eating, napping and playing.

Ask Questions

As you read and finish reading every time, ask some thought provoking questions. Toddlers have a strong opinion about things and you will be amazed at their interesting ideas. This way, you build language skills and you know what he thinks about the book.

 

Favourites

We all had our favourite book when we were kids – books we read again and again and again! Read your child’s favourite book often enough. Once you know what kind of books he likes, get more of the same genre. You will see his attention span varying in length once he sees something he likes.

Not happening?

You may face a situation when the book is not happening for your child. Pick up another book. The whole reading experience should be about building a positive experience with books, engaging in conversation and learning new words and ideas. You don’t have to finish every book you start.

Happy Parenting!

You may be happy that your preschool child talks very much now. You will notice that he has an opinion about a lot of things. There is a fine line between talking a lot and being argumentative. Once a child crosses that line, you might need to step in and make some changes. Here are some ways you can make things better.

House Rules

Your preschool child needs to know that there are some rules that will not be open to negotiation. Things like safety issues such as not talking to strangers and not going near the gas stove fall under this. Daily routines like mealtimes, reading, bedtimes also fall into this category. If you stick it out long enough, your child will stop resisting these rules. If he does argue about turning off the iPad, don’t be tempted to go into a discussion. Just reinstate what has to be done (Turn the iPad off now) and follow it through by taking it from him.

Payoff

Some preschool children need incentives to comply with some situations. If everyone except your daughter is planning to watch a movie tonight with pizza, let her pick the pizza toppings as a trade-off for agreeing to the movie even if she is not keen. This will show her the rewards cooperation can give. Create a reward system where your child gets points every time he gets out of bed without an argument. Trade these points for his favourite snack at the café or extra TV time!

Approach

Make your approach more personal by telling your child something gently and firmly rather than yelling it from the stairs. Instead of making a suggestion like ‘Don’t you think it is time to turn off the lights?’, make it direct like ‘Please turn off the lights now’.

Pick your Fights

With argumentative children, it is sometimes wise to let them have their way. Sometimes. Back down on the small stuff and allow him to make some choices about his life. Going to the park in sandals is fine if that is what he feels like today.

Happy Parenting!

The one thing you can always expect from your preschool toddler is tantrums. It has been proven that kids between the age of one and four have not developed coping skills needed to avoid tantrums to voice out what they are feeling. The moment they don’t get what they want or are unable to express what they are feeling, you are looking at a tantrum brewing. So how can you avoid these outbursts? Here are three freak-out fixes a lot of mums swear by.

Ignore

This works well simply because when your child is busy throwing a tantrum, he is really out of his mind. As emotions take over and area of the brain that makes judgments and decisions are overridden. Reasoning at this stage does not help since it is not working. Anything you will do at this point will not work, so allow your child to go through it, ignore him till he chills out and you can then talk.

Give Space

Sometimes it is just necessary to allow your child to let his anger out. They also need to learn to let their feelings out, pull themselves together and regain self-control without having to have a shouting match with you.

Diversion

A good thing to do especially with preschool aged children is to engage them in something so he will forget about the meltdown he is going to have or has just had. A distraction works wonders – a book, an outing, a great snack. All these work well to ward off a major meltdown too. If you don’t want to end up in Aisle 11 at the supermarket, simply create a distraction to go and look at cookies in Aisle 9. Since preschool aged children have fairly short attention spans, it is easy to divert them.

Happy Parenting!

Today, more mums than ever have joined the workforce. Women now make up half of all workers in the United States. Being a full-time has its own challenges – the stress of managing a full-time job and a family can take a toll on women. The key here is to focus on a good plan, get organized and find the almost perfect balance between parenthood and profession. Here are three ways to help you ensure both your family and career flourish.

Throw Away the Guilt

The one thing mums should do is to come to terms with the choices they have made and focus on the two priorities they have in front of them without feeling guilty. Rather than dwelling on how you are not with your child, think of how you are contributing to your company. Try to embrace the good days and the bad days. Make the best of all the time you have when you are at work and at home with your preschool children. Don’t be afraid of talking to other mums and your partner about the challenges you face and ways to make things better.

Quality Childcare

When your children are well taken care of, chances are, you will be happier at work. Speak to people you know and get the best references for your children regarding day care centers and preschools. If you are hiring a nanny for your younger children, hire one that has references that you can call up. Once you are a bit surer of your nanny, invite her over for a play-date with your children to see how they interact with one another. For daycare and preschool options, look at everything from the student-teacher ratio to licenses and staff records.

Easier Mornings

Any working mum will know that mornings are one of the toughest times of the day. Getting the kids ready, getting yourself sorted, getting breakfast and lunch sorted and getting out of the house on time – pretty much a nightmare if you are not very organized. Make things easier for yourself by organizing things the night before. Pack and prepare whatever you can the night before – kids’ snacks, kids’ clothes, your clothes, decide breakfast. Place whatever needs to go in the car by the door so you don’t need to waste time in the morning. When you have so many things pre-planned, you won’t have such a hard time in the morning and the entire family can have a happy morning, not a rushed one. Spend some quality time with your preschool kids before you all leave for the day and these moments will remain with you all day, reminding you of how well you manage work and home.

Happy Parenting!